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I hate when people ask me, “How do you not have a girlfriend?” Then they’re like you’re so attractive, sweet, and all that bullshit! The reason why I don’t have a girlfriend is because everyone knows each other nowadays. People tell each other everything. They say all these bad things about me. Like i’m a player or a big flirt. It ruins it for me. I admit, I was a flirt. But I never counted myself as a player. I never “played” anyone. But yeah, it makes me look really bad. I was ashamed of myself. Now, I changed. I know you’re thinking “players will always be players” or whatever. But I really did. Nobody ever gives me a chance to prove it. They just label me because of something that happened in the past. Honestly, I barely flirt with anyone anymore. There’s really no point. Cause whenever I have a “thing” with someone that I actually really like. There’s ALWAYS someone who will fuck things up.. either through texting/calling them, sending them asks in their inbox as anonymous or just telling them in person. It makes me depressed sometimes. But yeah.. That’s why I don’t have a girlfriend.
I feel the need to cheer them up. I’d do ANYTHING, just to see that person smile or make them feel better. It just kills me a little whenever someone is posting up OR re-blogging depressing posts, statuses, or songs. I want them to vent to me. I want to help them. I really do. I’m a caring person. No one knows that. No one tries to get to know the real me. I may not give the best advice.. But I sure will try my very best. Please try to smile. Everything will be okay. I promise!
I’ll speak for some guys because I’ve been in this situation before and still seeing some dudes continuously hurting themselves over, and over again. DON’T THINK AHEAD. seriously, just think for the moment your in. I used to get my hopes up and get myself all worked up thinking she really liked me and blah blah. She’d treat me so good and it would gradually just fade away, and I thought to myself maybe if I would just stick around a little bit longer everything would go back to how it was. Truth is, that “little bit longer”, turns into months maybe even years and you get yourself attached, only to be mentally destroyed in the end. You fall way too fast, and the rules no longer apply for her. She fucked up once and you think she won’t do it again, CHYEAH AII. And this probably sounds crazy but it’s true, well in my perspective anyways. You sticking around even when you see that she clearly doesn’t want you, makes her take that as an advantage. Thinking that you’re gonna always be around. That’s when the other guy isn’t there all she has to do is use that smooth talk and she knows she’ll have you in a minute. She’ll keep you till she finds someone else and where does that leave you? oh right, alone. And when you let her do that to you is when you realize that you are officially weak for her. And how dumb do you look? How much of a fool are you now? Dead that. Once you find someone else and move on, she’ll be running back for you.
It’s crazy how distant I’ve gotten with all my ex girlfriends. Sometimes, I want to hit them up & see how they’re doing & have a decent conversation with them.. But unfortunately, most of my ex girlfriends’ rather not talk to me at all. It makes me kind of upset. What makes me the most upset is that they were once the most important person to me. & Now.. We don’t even talk anymore. Not one word. Not even a simple “Hello.” It’s like we never met.. I just wish one day, I can get back in touch with them. Not as boyfriend & girlfriend.. But like, as a friend.
It’s like we never happened. Somebody who once meant the whole world to me..now seems like a stranger. I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. & I think I should try to get back in touch with them, and be friends at least. I know it’ll be awkward. But it’s better than not having them in your life at all. Right? Hmm.. Even though we don’t talk anymore..the memories I made with them stay in my heart. Always & forever.
I’m not a bad guy, really. I’m just an ordinary guy trying to get through high school & live life just like many of you reading this. But lately, I’ve been feeling like shit. I hate how I constantly hear people talk shit about me and say that I’m a “player” behind my back. Real talk, who have I played? IM me, or PM me. I wanna know! I haven’t played anyone. You can even ask any of my ex girlfriends. I never cheated on anyone, and I don’t plan to. People assume i’m a player because they think I’m a so called “big flirt” EVEN WHEN I’M FUCKING SINGLE. HOW IS THAT BEING A PLAYER? I’m single right?! I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can flirt with whoever the fuck I want. It’s not like I have to worry about cheating on someone. CAUSE I’M FUCKING SINGLE. Bitch fucking Please! I also hate when people think i’m flirting with a girl when I compliment her in her photo or some shit. It’s just a fucking compliment, calm your tits! I can’t be nice without being called a “player.” All I ask for is a chance. I’ve noticed that every girl think i’m really nice. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I should stop being nice from now on.. maybe that’ll change how people think of me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being nice to people. I’m a nice dude. I’m here for anyone if they need to talk, I’m all ears. But yeah, I really hate my life. It blows. Sighs..